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A phd in suffering. Lol. The conference will key me in to the status of the 'unknown illness' BigPharma Psych Oligarchy decides that there is not enough human beings suffering from this condition, not enough $ to make research worth while, so it pays it no attention and continues to allow inhumane and unethical protocol to those that suffer. I mean come on....you go to a dermatologist to get help not to recieve a diagonosis of exclusion into a living hell that destroys ones status as a world citizen. I am not alone in this situation. Self diagnosis for me occured 4.5 years in. I never ever would want an illness to ruin my marriage, take my job from me, steal my house and sense of 'home' from me. My anger comes and goes. Most of all i am resigned. I may be a beach bum. I may expatriate to canada. I dont think i can live at mom and dads for too long. I am not suicidal then again i walk around without fear of death and often have disregard for my wellbeing. If yer sick everyday what matter? C'est la vie. My old self is almost a distant dream. These days i feel more like a test subject attempting fifth column. Sci-fi for sure. I am not psychotic but when reality becomes stranger than fiction one's creativity is a double edged knife. Love u bec. Wish me safety and luck in aquiring the neccesary information. xxx ooo
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