Pilot

Gwen, i've had a horrific night. I fight and fight. I fought tonite. Rather than going completely utterly 15th floor psychiatric (where i use to work) i focused on getting myself to Austin on April 12-15, i believe my paypal to NMO went through and my hotel reservation @the Wyndom Garden Hotel has been secured. i am not well. My decision making is suspect. I am scared uncaring if that makes sense. Last week i took a trip to hot springs. In the ozarks there was an abandoned amusement park. The little railroad went across a gorge. I walked upon the rotted railwood halfway. Looking down 300 feet below...... I walked back..... I was trespassing and reckless. It would have been a good death. I pray for this nightmare to end. I am not well. I am trying to get well with the Lord. Can u feel me Gwen?? Wyndom Gardens hotel is no Devils tower. But i'll wear a gasmask to get through the clouds of BZ. I dont have a presentation except for me being there. i'll entertain as i always do. But this is very serious business. I cannot keep on keepin' on....... Job to Jesus to Van gogh. Y'know. I'm about to Jack Kevorckian the entire operation. My mind ticks bomblike. I am a pacifist kamakaze
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